


Confessions

by romanticalgirl



Series: Sins and Lies [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 2000</p>
    </blockquote>





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 2000

Oz stared out the door of Sunnydale high. It was winter. Night was coming sooner, and with it, came the full moon.

A group of girls brushed past him. One of them stopped and smiled. "You're in that band, right? From the Bronze?"

"Yeah. Lead guitar." He nodded. His life would be so much easier if he could lie.

"I like guitar players." She twirled a strand of hair around her finger and smiled even wider.

"I like someone else." He turned away, surprised at his own rudeness.

"Hey Oz."

He looked up. "Hey Cordelia."

"Where are you headed?"

"It's a full moon."

"So?" She asked. Then the full implication of his remark hit her. "Oh. Can't you go somewhere else?"

"Not safe enough. Faith is supposed to watch over me. Buffy's gonna make sure." He stopped. "I've got to go."

She bit her lip, emotions playing across her face. Why did part of her envy him still having a reason to be with them?

*****  
He pushed the doors open. "All right, Giles. Chain me…up."

All he could see was the glorious color of her eyes. Eyes focused on him.

"Oz. Hi."

He looked past her to her best friend, leaning over the railing. Strange, he couldn't quite meet his eyes. "Xander."

He mumbled something before disappearing into the stacks.

Giles walked out of his office, Buffy and Faith in tow. "Ah. Oz. I was worried you'd forgotten."

"How would I do that?"

"So, Willow? You'll be all right tonight?"

"Whoa. Whoa. Um, Willow?" Oz shook his head.

"Yes."

"No." Willow shook her head also, obviously panicked.

"You're the only one Willow. Buffy and Faith have other duties. As do I. It's either you, Xander or Cordelia."

Buffy waved her hands frantically, trying to get the Watcher's attention. "Giles!" she hissed.

"I don't understand. Normally you're happy to watch him. Really Willow, this is quite unlike you."

"Giles!" Buffy snapped.

"Yes Buffy?"

"Shut up. I'm sure you could spare me or Faith."

"It's okay." Oz shut the door to the book cage. "It's gonna happen soon. Willow can stay. Xander should leave."

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Because I don't know if the cage will hold me."

"Oh, I feel safe leaving Willow here now. How 'bout you guys?" He smirked.

"I would never hurt Willow." A shudder rippled down Oz's spine. "Now go away." To Willow and the slayers, he shrugged. "Turn around?"

Buffy grabbed Faith and Giles by the hand, dragging them out of the library, explaining all the way.

"You want me to stay Will?"

"No. I'll be okay."

Xander left slowly obviously upset. His entire life was spiraling away from him. He looked back at Willow, only to see her watching Oz sadly. He laughed silently, bitterly. Great.

*****  
She watched him remove his shirt, her heart beating wildly. He turned around and met her eyes.

"You shouldn't watch." Another convulsion shook him.

She walked up to the cage and reached through the book deposit to touch him. The feel of the smooth skin of his chest caused her breath to catch. She'd touched him before, but the fact that he was letting her - after everything - was a heady experience.

"Willow," he grabbed her hand. "Stop. Back away. Now."

She did as he said, turning away so he could undress fully. She sat at the table, listening to the change as the moon rose.

When the noises stopped, she turned back to him. He lay there, not moving. He'd told her before that the change could sometimes be tiring.

"Oz?" She crept closer to the cage so that she could see him. "I just want to say I'm really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"And I don't know how this is all going to work out, but I want you to know that you did so much for me. No one has ever looked at me the way you do. Or made me feel the way you do."

"I wish I could explain the way you make me feel. I wish I could explain everything."

She touched the cage and he sprang forward, snarling.

She leapt back, frightened. "I'm sorry," she panted. "Oh God, I'm sorry." She ran away from him into the safety of Giles' office.

*****  
Xander watched from the door. He clenched his teeth, biting back his feelings, his emotions, and his outrage. He didn't know anymore what he had with Willow. He wasn't even sure their friendship was going to survive this intact. He had this fear, deep inside him, that he was going to be in love with his best friend and she was going to be in love with someone else.

God, he hated irony.

He just wondered if it was going to be easier for him, since Willow probably wouldn't be around. Why would she stay?

She was smart, talented, in demand. Sunnydale was most likely soon to be in her past.

And so was he.

*****  
Willow buried her head in her arms, tears overwhelming her. Her life was a horrible mess. Oz was hurt and angry, and she had no idea how he felt about her. And Xander was hurting, and they suddenly couldn't communicate with each other. She'd lost her boyfriend and her best friend in one fell swoop. And she had no idea how or if she could get them both back.

*****  
Oz woke up shivering and scrambled for his clothes. Dressing quickly, he walked to the cage door.

Xander sat there, straddling a backward chair, key dangling from his finger.

"Are you gonna let me out?"

"Not yet."

"Where's Willow?"

"Cried herself to sleep. I know you hate me. It's okay. I'm getting used to it."

"You're getting a lot of practice."

"But we both love Willow, so I want you to listen. I know you all think that I deliberately ignored her all those years. That I'm just this blind jackass. But her friendship," he stopped, forcing his tears back. "Being her friend was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Probably the greatest thing that ever will. You've been loved by her. You know."

Oz simply nodded. Xander's tears ran unchecked down his face.

"I was scared to death of losing her. Obviously for good reason. But when I saw her…when I realized my little Willow had grown up, that she was leaving me behind…She loves you. You're good for her. You're good to her. I'm her past. Maybe you're her future."

He stopped again and wiped his face, although his tears kept falling.

"Xander…"

"Shut up. Look, it was me. Forgive her, love her, treat her right, so I don't have to kill you. Ju…" he swallowed hard as he realized she was listening. "Just make sure she remembers me with affection. That she knows I love her. I'll always love her."

He tossed the keys to Oz and walked out of the library, determined not to look back. He may be a first class jerk, but when he was five he'd sworn to a certain fiery-haired vixen that he'd always protect her, always look out for her.

Xander Harris may be a first class jerk, but he always kept his promises.


End file.
